Post by Icee on May 31, 2005 0:50:56 GMT -5
TONIGHTS REPORT:
BOB: DJ Icee LAFUNK, looses radio responses today on Icee Radio, headlines in local papers, DJ Icee LAFUNK may lose Radio Station and Career.
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HARRY: Crowd is very upset at this new. Rumors of riots have been heard this is a big problem. Speaking of big the Drew Carry show is next. Back to you bob
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BOB: Very sad to hear that Harry. White house officials today tell us that president Bush is planning to destroy a small country near Indonesia people claim is called Australia, will be more news on that later, but now the weather.
---------------------------
HARRY: It looks down for the weather. Snow, rain, hail, and fireballs all at once. It looks like the end of the world to me. But it has been said before and now will be said again. "The world might be over, but there will be no Michel Jackson"
---------------------------
BOB: Happy news there on the weather side with reports of no Micheal Jackson, although we've just recieved bad news, it seems as though Neverland is like a cockroach that never dies, and in the result that
the world does end, neverland will remain.
---------------------------
HARRY: Just don't tell them that. Or they might just know they can really take over the world. The next headline story, only slightly less important then the main one. A man was swollowed by a whale, and when he ran and ran to get out, it ended up he was just pooped out. Over to sports with Som Ting Won
---------------------------
SOM TING WON: News today that the Miami dolphins football team, have been slaughtered. Not by an opposing team in football, but by a Orangutang at a local zoo, sad to hear no player lived.
---------------------------
HARRY: Very sad indeed. Good thing they were only bench warmers. -puts mic to ear- this just in, only pet at zoos when it is clearly marked "PETTING ZOO". it may lead to nausia, out breaks, sexual side effects, and 8 fingers
---------------------------
BOB: -covers up 8 fingers- Also the champion swimmer Dave Yotsu has been eaten by a massive pod of sharks, illegal whalers inform us that the pod of sharks were circling the area for days, waiting for someone to swim by. They also reported to us that the pod of sharks consisted of over one thousand sharks, all over 2 metres long. Now for the update on the end of the world to you Harry.
---------------------------
HARRY: Well it looks like the ice, rain, snow and all that cold stuff has stopped for now. There will be a 50% chance that fireballs the size of Texas will be coming, -points to map- around the greenland area. But it will slowly drift past to, hopefully, where MJ is standing so we have a bit of good new before... we croak
---------------------------
BOB: More news today that ex Beatle Paul McCartney has released very contreversial pictures in Pornographic magazine "Playgirl".
---------------------------
HARRY: Though some may disagree, but we find that he is going for the "Firm tomato" look. Plastic sergons from all around gathered, studied his earlobed and conferms these rumors by saying "His ears are just too low, they could probably go too a frow". The cute one never seems to dissapoint us though. This issue has sold more than any other to date
---------------------------
BOB: Magazine editors from all around the Country have been ringing to tell us that his genitals have been edited, to make his penis look bigger in these photos. Very interesting this Harry isn't it?
---------------------------
HARRY: Yes Bob it is. Breaking news, select girls around the world, ages 10 - 23, have discovered a new disease. We are not quite sure what it is called, but apperently the side effects are: Randomly rambling, squeeing, melting on the floor... repetidly, enjoying the sexual nature between to of the same sex, and most shocking, wearing their underwear BACKWORDS. We are told it is not fatal, but we really can't be sure.
---------------------------
BOB: My daughter recently caught this disease, terrible news. Interesting news from other Ex beatle, we've been told that Ringo Starr, drummer of the Beatles, has written a letter to Paul McCartney which was somehow leaked to the press. The entirety of this letter is Mr Starr raging about how Mr. McCartney is still having children. Mr Starr seems to think that with Paul having children by the day, that it's expected of him also to have more children. Mr Mccartney is definately not impressed about this letter from his friend, and enraged at the press.
---------------------------
HARRY: He was even photographed makeing suggestions that we won't further comment here. On a lighter note here Micheal Jackson was hit, so therefore forst to give back the rights to the Lennon/McCartney songs back to McCartney. Lets all take this moment to celebrate thsi happy occasion for it won't be long now
---------------------------
BOB: There will be silence in the studio for a matter of minute. Silent celebration begins now. -shuts up-
---------------------------
HARRY: -tries real hard too, but makes noise that we also won't further discuss here-
---------------------------
BOB -waves hand around air-
---------------------------
HARRY: -sprays Lysol-
---------------------------
BOB: We've just recieved a phone call from Sir Paul McCartney, here he is. "Evening Bob and Harry. I just wanted to let you know that I am most pleased with this news of Michael Jackson, and the fireball. As celebration tonight i will be holding a party, with huge guests such as Bob Dylan, Julia Roberts and Mr. Starr himself, I expect to see you all there".
---------------------------
HARRY: From the looks of it we will be there, reporting live the breaking new that might turn out with Mr.Starr and Mr. McCartney.
---------------------------
BOB: Wait wait, it appears as though Mr. McCartney has not turned off his phone properly. "Listen Ringo, that shitty letter wasn't funny man and i've got news, Heathers pregnant again!" BREAKING NEWS: Heather Mills McCartney is pregnant
---------------------------
HARRY: It appears he won't stoop. Most of the media agree with me in saying "The more spawn of the Cute one, the better the world will be." But it appears that is not the whole worlds veiw
---------------------------
BOB: More news tonight, other channels news reporters complaining this channels news reporters report for too long. Here's some news for ya channel ten, UP YOURS.
---------------------------
HARRY: New breaking news. Channel ten has... raibees. Yes shocking news... we don't know how those dogs got in their station
---------------------------
BOB: Just recieved report of a tornado stretching along Utah all the way to Michigan and over New York. We suggest that you all flee when the opportunity presents itself.
----------------------------
HARRY: Yes horrible indeed. -looks over shoulder- uh oh. Well it looks as though I'm in a bit of a ..jam. Over to you BOb -runs-
Next update at 11:15, tune in then.
BOB: DJ Icee LAFUNK, looses radio responses today on Icee Radio, headlines in local papers, DJ Icee LAFUNK may lose Radio Station and Career.
---------------------------
HARRY: Crowd is very upset at this new. Rumors of riots have been heard this is a big problem. Speaking of big the Drew Carry show is next. Back to you bob
---------------------------
BOB: Very sad to hear that Harry. White house officials today tell us that president Bush is planning to destroy a small country near Indonesia people claim is called Australia, will be more news on that later, but now the weather.
---------------------------
HARRY: It looks down for the weather. Snow, rain, hail, and fireballs all at once. It looks like the end of the world to me. But it has been said before and now will be said again. "The world might be over, but there will be no Michel Jackson"
---------------------------
BOB: Happy news there on the weather side with reports of no Micheal Jackson, although we've just recieved bad news, it seems as though Neverland is like a cockroach that never dies, and in the result that
the world does end, neverland will remain.
---------------------------
HARRY: Just don't tell them that. Or they might just know they can really take over the world. The next headline story, only slightly less important then the main one. A man was swollowed by a whale, and when he ran and ran to get out, it ended up he was just pooped out. Over to sports with Som Ting Won
---------------------------
SOM TING WON: News today that the Miami dolphins football team, have been slaughtered. Not by an opposing team in football, but by a Orangutang at a local zoo, sad to hear no player lived.
---------------------------
HARRY: Very sad indeed. Good thing they were only bench warmers. -puts mic to ear- this just in, only pet at zoos when it is clearly marked "PETTING ZOO". it may lead to nausia, out breaks, sexual side effects, and 8 fingers
---------------------------
BOB: -covers up 8 fingers- Also the champion swimmer Dave Yotsu has been eaten by a massive pod of sharks, illegal whalers inform us that the pod of sharks were circling the area for days, waiting for someone to swim by. They also reported to us that the pod of sharks consisted of over one thousand sharks, all over 2 metres long. Now for the update on the end of the world to you Harry.
---------------------------
HARRY: Well it looks like the ice, rain, snow and all that cold stuff has stopped for now. There will be a 50% chance that fireballs the size of Texas will be coming, -points to map- around the greenland area. But it will slowly drift past to, hopefully, where MJ is standing so we have a bit of good new before... we croak
---------------------------
BOB: More news today that ex Beatle Paul McCartney has released very contreversial pictures in Pornographic magazine "Playgirl".
---------------------------
HARRY: Though some may disagree, but we find that he is going for the "Firm tomato" look. Plastic sergons from all around gathered, studied his earlobed and conferms these rumors by saying "His ears are just too low, they could probably go too a frow". The cute one never seems to dissapoint us though. This issue has sold more than any other to date
---------------------------
BOB: Magazine editors from all around the Country have been ringing to tell us that his genitals have been edited, to make his penis look bigger in these photos. Very interesting this Harry isn't it?
---------------------------
HARRY: Yes Bob it is. Breaking news, select girls around the world, ages 10 - 23, have discovered a new disease. We are not quite sure what it is called, but apperently the side effects are: Randomly rambling, squeeing, melting on the floor... repetidly, enjoying the sexual nature between to of the same sex, and most shocking, wearing their underwear BACKWORDS. We are told it is not fatal, but we really can't be sure.
---------------------------
BOB: My daughter recently caught this disease, terrible news. Interesting news from other Ex beatle, we've been told that Ringo Starr, drummer of the Beatles, has written a letter to Paul McCartney which was somehow leaked to the press. The entirety of this letter is Mr Starr raging about how Mr. McCartney is still having children. Mr Starr seems to think that with Paul having children by the day, that it's expected of him also to have more children. Mr Mccartney is definately not impressed about this letter from his friend, and enraged at the press.
---------------------------
HARRY: He was even photographed makeing suggestions that we won't further comment here. On a lighter note here Micheal Jackson was hit, so therefore forst to give back the rights to the Lennon/McCartney songs back to McCartney. Lets all take this moment to celebrate thsi happy occasion for it won't be long now
---------------------------
BOB: There will be silence in the studio for a matter of minute. Silent celebration begins now. -shuts up-
---------------------------
HARRY: -tries real hard too, but makes noise that we also won't further discuss here-
---------------------------
BOB -waves hand around air-
---------------------------
HARRY: -sprays Lysol-
---------------------------
BOB: We've just recieved a phone call from Sir Paul McCartney, here he is. "Evening Bob and Harry. I just wanted to let you know that I am most pleased with this news of Michael Jackson, and the fireball. As celebration tonight i will be holding a party, with huge guests such as Bob Dylan, Julia Roberts and Mr. Starr himself, I expect to see you all there".
---------------------------
HARRY: From the looks of it we will be there, reporting live the breaking new that might turn out with Mr.Starr and Mr. McCartney.
---------------------------
BOB: Wait wait, it appears as though Mr. McCartney has not turned off his phone properly. "Listen Ringo, that shitty letter wasn't funny man and i've got news, Heathers pregnant again!" BREAKING NEWS: Heather Mills McCartney is pregnant
---------------------------
HARRY: It appears he won't stoop. Most of the media agree with me in saying "The more spawn of the Cute one, the better the world will be." But it appears that is not the whole worlds veiw
---------------------------
BOB: More news tonight, other channels news reporters complaining this channels news reporters report for too long. Here's some news for ya channel ten, UP YOURS.
---------------------------
HARRY: New breaking news. Channel ten has... raibees. Yes shocking news... we don't know how those dogs got in their station
---------------------------
BOB: Just recieved report of a tornado stretching along Utah all the way to Michigan and over New York. We suggest that you all flee when the opportunity presents itself.
----------------------------
HARRY: Yes horrible indeed. -looks over shoulder- uh oh. Well it looks as though I'm in a bit of a ..jam. Over to you BOb -runs-
Next update at 11:15, tune in then.
