Post by Sgt.Honeypie on May 28, 2005 20:11:46 GMT -5
On the request of Icee I am reposting this (maybe I'll actually update cause it's my turn...). So here is goes:
My sad story starts out when I was riding my bike to the grocery store, to get some milk for mom. Now, as you know there are some dummies out there who never look both ways before crossing the street. I always stop and look both ways before crossing any street. I've even been known to stop and wait for five minutes to just look for cars. I swear to you, this time I looked. Not for five minutes, mind you, but I at least looked. Straight into the headlights of a car.
I don’t remember a whole lot after that, except for the sound of screeching brakes, and someone with a funny accent talking to me and leaning over me. "Oh luv, please wake up! Please luv!" I swear that voice sounded familiar. I looked up to see who was speaking. Oh my GOSH! I thought. That was the last thing I ever thought in my human body.
I floated up above my body. You have no idea how petrifying it is to be looking down at yourself. And then as I finally managed to move my head I saw my mom and dad crying among police and family friends, but then I noticed a recognizable figure off to the side sobbing in regret. It was my cause of death, Paul McCartney of The Beatles of Wings my IDOL. I always wanted to meet him, but not like this.
Then I started to rise, and trust me you will never feel an odder feeling than to rise up without a body. Then when I finally got to my destination, which where it is I can’t tell you (it’s a spirit thing), and I was greeted by a bunch of really quite nice people (well you’d expect it wouldn’t you?) plus I even got meet John Lennon and George Harrison, and being such a big Beatle fan I was quite happy about this.
And now back to the story. I was given a few choices of what I could do. I could:
1) Go on to heaven
2) Go back to ‘haunt’ my parents, my so called killer, or someone who made my life miserable.
It was awfully tempting to haunt the person who made me miserable all through elementary school and part of Jr. High (have you ever been stuck in a locker for two and a half hours?). But instead I thought "How could I possibly pass up the opportunity to go back and 'visit' (they call it haunt -- what a word!) Paul McCartney? Not everyone can say that Paul McCartney accidentally killed them (or at least, I hope not). So when they called Aubrey Blythe and asked what I had decided to do, I told them, "I would like to visit…or I mean ‘haunt’ Paul McCartney."
After giving me a ‘Why am I not surprised’ look he threw me an instruction manual titled, ‘How to Hunt by the Book’. I had no idea that there was a right way to haunt someone, and that it was so complicated. I mean, who would ever try to pick the Hauntee's nose? That's disgusting (and not to mention disturbing to think that anyone would imagine that one up). But after many hours of frustration and a few unsuccessful tests later I finally had it down, and was on the next trip down to Earth.
I must admit I was a bit nervous. I've never been really mean to anyone before, except blurting out a few non-sense words occasionally. When I saw Paul sitting on his couch playing his guitar, all I could say was, "Blaceisherdwor!" I would've been embarrassed, only my voice surprised me. It sounded like a breeze blowing through an open window. Paul got up to close the window and went back to his guitar playing.
This must be really spooking him, I thought sarcastically to myself. I sat down next to him on the couch wondering what to do next. He plays the guitar so beautifully! I let out a long adoring sigh. "I thought I closed the darn thing!" Paul muttered to himself, and went to check the window again. I gotta do something to really make him ticked off! Aww, but he's having so much fun right now, I couldn't possibly do anything to make him ticked now! I just wanna watch him playing his guitar, he plays it so well. *Light bulb moment* I walked over to him quietly, and slowly turned one of the pegs on the guitar down. "Neerrrrrrroooooo...." was the sound that string made. "What the --?" Paul asked. He looked around the room, sighed, and tuned the string back up. "I really gotta get this thing fixed…. but it’s only a crummy guitar anyway…." he muttered. This is going to be tougher than I thought.
I let him fuss with his guitar while I thought of something that would really get to him. This was obviously going to take some more time, so I took a walk around his house to see if I could get some idea of what I could do. I found myself in what I could only guess was his bathroom. I looked around and I swear it is about 10 times the size my bathroom was. That's an awfully fancy bathtub... oh wait, it's the sink. Anyway back to the point, as I was looking around something caught my eye that gave me an idea. Right there, in the shower (which was big enough to host a party in) was his conditioner just calling to me. And I answered.
So here I am thinking I’m pretty clever thinking up putting hair coloring in his conditioner an all, but let me tell you that the next time you do something like that make sure whose conditioner it is. Yeah, Paul was shocked, shocked to find a fuming Heather coming down the stairs with bright red-orange hair. No matter how much I like Heather, it was still quite funny to see her yelling at Paul out of complete rage (and let me tell you her hair seemed to match her mood at that moment).
I left them to try and get some peace and quiet. Emphasis on the word Try. I went to a completely different side of the house, and it’s a pretty gigantic house and even then I could hear them clearly.
I wandered into the Master Bedroom. It was the most gorgeous room I've ever seen in my life. The bed covers were red silk (very romantic), and there was a huge window that looked out over London with curtains that matched the covers. Opposite of the bed was a mega-gigantic-screen television. Ask any major video game player, and one of their biggest dreams would be to play one of their games on THIS screen. That gave me another a brilliant idea.
I'm sure all of you have seen that game, where you step on the arrows and it's supposed to be some sort of 'dance'. Have you ever wondered what Paul McCartney would look like playing one of them? Now, being a ghost, you can do an awful lot of things, and one of them happens to be summoning up just about anything you want. I got the X-Box I summoned up hooked up to the TV, and waited for Paul to go to bed.
After a long while, Paul came upstairs to get dressed for bed, and spotted the X-Box and the dancing pads. With a childish look of glee on his face, he tried to get it to work. After about 5 minutes, he figured out how to turn it on, and after another 15 minutes, he had started dancing. Nothing is more amusing than a 62 year old ex-Beatle trying to play this game, while missing every step. He still acted like he was doing great, and started to do a lot of jumping around on the pads. "Heather, look at this!" Paul said, and beckoned her to join.
I stand corrected. Only one thing is funnier than a 62-year-old ex-Beatle trying to do dance moves, and that's a 62 year old ex-Beatle trying to do these dance moves with his 36-year-old wife. Oh man, did they ever get the room shaking! And I mean literally shaking! Now, when you look at this house, you would think that it's pretty sturdy. All of us found out exactly how un-sturdy it was when Stella, who was visiting, barged into the room and said "WHAT are you two DOING up here? You guys broke the light bulb in the guestroom downstairs!"
And poor Beatrice! She was in her crib taking a nap (which tells you how sound of a sleeper she is to sleep through the noise their parents where making earlier…), but when she woke up when her parents started dancing and seeing as the music was up so loud and they where making so much noise dancing all she could do was sit there staring wide-eyed at this (in hers and many others opinion) terrifying site and silently moan.
I had to comfort Beatrice. She looked so pitiful and her parents were way to distracted trying to explain the ‘dancing’ and Heather’s orange hair to do anything at the moment. So I did the first thing that popped into my head (a habit that has often gotten me in trouble…) so I sang. Surprise, surprise it was a Beatles tune. The first one I could think of was ‘Golden Slumbers’ (actually it was ‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammer’ but I though it was a little too appropriate). “Golden slumbers fill your eyes…” I stopped and so did everyone else. My voice sounded so… different, like a slight breeze carrying the tune. The thing that surprised me the most, however was the fact that my voice sounded… good (a big shocker!) so I decided to go on. It worked like a charm. Beatrice stopped whimpering, but she wasn’t the only one who noticed it. Paul stood there, he just had a look of confusion on his face, after seeing Beatrice floating in mid air you would think he would (I mean wouldn’t you?). I had just dumbly broken a biggie in ‘The Rules’; never ever make it too obvious you’re there. So I quickly put a now giggling Beatrice down in her crib and ran to the stairs and sat there were I could still see them.
Run for your life
by Rach and Beth
by Rach and Beth
My sad story starts out when I was riding my bike to the grocery store, to get some milk for mom. Now, as you know there are some dummies out there who never look both ways before crossing the street. I always stop and look both ways before crossing any street. I've even been known to stop and wait for five minutes to just look for cars. I swear to you, this time I looked. Not for five minutes, mind you, but I at least looked. Straight into the headlights of a car.
I don’t remember a whole lot after that, except for the sound of screeching brakes, and someone with a funny accent talking to me and leaning over me. "Oh luv, please wake up! Please luv!" I swear that voice sounded familiar. I looked up to see who was speaking. Oh my GOSH! I thought. That was the last thing I ever thought in my human body.
I floated up above my body. You have no idea how petrifying it is to be looking down at yourself. And then as I finally managed to move my head I saw my mom and dad crying among police and family friends, but then I noticed a recognizable figure off to the side sobbing in regret. It was my cause of death, Paul McCartney of The Beatles of Wings my IDOL. I always wanted to meet him, but not like this.
Then I started to rise, and trust me you will never feel an odder feeling than to rise up without a body. Then when I finally got to my destination, which where it is I can’t tell you (it’s a spirit thing), and I was greeted by a bunch of really quite nice people (well you’d expect it wouldn’t you?) plus I even got meet John Lennon and George Harrison, and being such a big Beatle fan I was quite happy about this.
And now back to the story. I was given a few choices of what I could do. I could:
1) Go on to heaven
2) Go back to ‘haunt’ my parents, my so called killer, or someone who made my life miserable.
It was awfully tempting to haunt the person who made me miserable all through elementary school and part of Jr. High (have you ever been stuck in a locker for two and a half hours?). But instead I thought "How could I possibly pass up the opportunity to go back and 'visit' (they call it haunt -- what a word!) Paul McCartney? Not everyone can say that Paul McCartney accidentally killed them (or at least, I hope not). So when they called Aubrey Blythe and asked what I had decided to do, I told them, "I would like to visit…or I mean ‘haunt’ Paul McCartney."
After giving me a ‘Why am I not surprised’ look he threw me an instruction manual titled, ‘How to Hunt by the Book’. I had no idea that there was a right way to haunt someone, and that it was so complicated. I mean, who would ever try to pick the Hauntee's nose? That's disgusting (and not to mention disturbing to think that anyone would imagine that one up). But after many hours of frustration and a few unsuccessful tests later I finally had it down, and was on the next trip down to Earth.
I must admit I was a bit nervous. I've never been really mean to anyone before, except blurting out a few non-sense words occasionally. When I saw Paul sitting on his couch playing his guitar, all I could say was, "Blaceisherdwor!" I would've been embarrassed, only my voice surprised me. It sounded like a breeze blowing through an open window. Paul got up to close the window and went back to his guitar playing.
This must be really spooking him, I thought sarcastically to myself. I sat down next to him on the couch wondering what to do next. He plays the guitar so beautifully! I let out a long adoring sigh. "I thought I closed the darn thing!" Paul muttered to himself, and went to check the window again. I gotta do something to really make him ticked off! Aww, but he's having so much fun right now, I couldn't possibly do anything to make him ticked now! I just wanna watch him playing his guitar, he plays it so well. *Light bulb moment* I walked over to him quietly, and slowly turned one of the pegs on the guitar down. "Neerrrrrrroooooo...." was the sound that string made. "What the --?" Paul asked. He looked around the room, sighed, and tuned the string back up. "I really gotta get this thing fixed…. but it’s only a crummy guitar anyway…." he muttered. This is going to be tougher than I thought.
I let him fuss with his guitar while I thought of something that would really get to him. This was obviously going to take some more time, so I took a walk around his house to see if I could get some idea of what I could do. I found myself in what I could only guess was his bathroom. I looked around and I swear it is about 10 times the size my bathroom was. That's an awfully fancy bathtub... oh wait, it's the sink. Anyway back to the point, as I was looking around something caught my eye that gave me an idea. Right there, in the shower (which was big enough to host a party in) was his conditioner just calling to me. And I answered.
So here I am thinking I’m pretty clever thinking up putting hair coloring in his conditioner an all, but let me tell you that the next time you do something like that make sure whose conditioner it is. Yeah, Paul was shocked, shocked to find a fuming Heather coming down the stairs with bright red-orange hair. No matter how much I like Heather, it was still quite funny to see her yelling at Paul out of complete rage (and let me tell you her hair seemed to match her mood at that moment).
I left them to try and get some peace and quiet. Emphasis on the word Try. I went to a completely different side of the house, and it’s a pretty gigantic house and even then I could hear them clearly.
I wandered into the Master Bedroom. It was the most gorgeous room I've ever seen in my life. The bed covers were red silk (very romantic), and there was a huge window that looked out over London with curtains that matched the covers. Opposite of the bed was a mega-gigantic-screen television. Ask any major video game player, and one of their biggest dreams would be to play one of their games on THIS screen. That gave me another a brilliant idea.
I'm sure all of you have seen that game, where you step on the arrows and it's supposed to be some sort of 'dance'. Have you ever wondered what Paul McCartney would look like playing one of them? Now, being a ghost, you can do an awful lot of things, and one of them happens to be summoning up just about anything you want. I got the X-Box I summoned up hooked up to the TV, and waited for Paul to go to bed.
After a long while, Paul came upstairs to get dressed for bed, and spotted the X-Box and the dancing pads. With a childish look of glee on his face, he tried to get it to work. After about 5 minutes, he figured out how to turn it on, and after another 15 minutes, he had started dancing. Nothing is more amusing than a 62 year old ex-Beatle trying to play this game, while missing every step. He still acted like he was doing great, and started to do a lot of jumping around on the pads. "Heather, look at this!" Paul said, and beckoned her to join.
I stand corrected. Only one thing is funnier than a 62-year-old ex-Beatle trying to do dance moves, and that's a 62 year old ex-Beatle trying to do these dance moves with his 36-year-old wife. Oh man, did they ever get the room shaking! And I mean literally shaking! Now, when you look at this house, you would think that it's pretty sturdy. All of us found out exactly how un-sturdy it was when Stella, who was visiting, barged into the room and said "WHAT are you two DOING up here? You guys broke the light bulb in the guestroom downstairs!"
And poor Beatrice! She was in her crib taking a nap (which tells you how sound of a sleeper she is to sleep through the noise their parents where making earlier…), but when she woke up when her parents started dancing and seeing as the music was up so loud and they where making so much noise dancing all she could do was sit there staring wide-eyed at this (in hers and many others opinion) terrifying site and silently moan.
I had to comfort Beatrice. She looked so pitiful and her parents were way to distracted trying to explain the ‘dancing’ and Heather’s orange hair to do anything at the moment. So I did the first thing that popped into my head (a habit that has often gotten me in trouble…) so I sang. Surprise, surprise it was a Beatles tune. The first one I could think of was ‘Golden Slumbers’ (actually it was ‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammer’ but I though it was a little too appropriate). “Golden slumbers fill your eyes…” I stopped and so did everyone else. My voice sounded so… different, like a slight breeze carrying the tune. The thing that surprised me the most, however was the fact that my voice sounded… good (a big shocker!) so I decided to go on. It worked like a charm. Beatrice stopped whimpering, but she wasn’t the only one who noticed it. Paul stood there, he just had a look of confusion on his face, after seeing Beatrice floating in mid air you would think he would (I mean wouldn’t you?). I had just dumbly broken a biggie in ‘The Rules’; never ever make it too obvious you’re there. So I quickly put a now giggling Beatrice down in her crib and ran to the stairs and sat there were I could still see them.
