Post by Beatlemon on Mar 16, 2005 20:41:56 GMT -5
Um ... this is a product of my extreme boredom .... Please forgive me .... ;D
--------- PART ONE --------
Music begins to play, the theme song of Martha Stewart Living comes on, but it is played rather than aired over the set, which is Martha Stewart's Kitchen. Camera zooms into the Beatles, pans left to right, and as the Beatles stop playing. Martha Stewart comes onto the set. Blackout.
*Fade In. Medium close up of Martha.* Martha:Welcome to Martha Stewart Living. Today on my show, I will be cooking a lovely meal with four very special guests. Hello, lads. How are you today?
*Pan Left. Medium shot of George and Ringo.*
Ringo: Hello, Martha. Hows it all goin' for you?
Martha: Very well, thankyou, Mr. Starr. As I was saying, we have very special guests today. All the way from Liverpool, England, in the second half of our show; ladies and gentlemen, The Beatles!
Silence. A cabbage blows across the counter.
Martha: The BEATLES!
A random person shouts. Errrr! Sorry, Martha! A sort of wacky jazzy type tune floats through the air.
Martha: That's alright, Alfie. Next time a cabbage does that, I'll fire you. *clears throat and smiles* Well, here we have wonderful guests -
John: Called The Beatles called, eh? *Smiles cheesily and proceeds to inspect the kitchen knives*
Paul*hissing in John's ear*: Put ‘em down, you know you like knives too much!
An embarrassing silence. John slowly puts down the knife, but not before imitating Jack the Ripper .... Martha snatches it away from his hands and John growls at her under his breath.
Martha: ... Yes. We need the knife to chop the fruit, if you can start with the green apples, I would appreciate it. *Deadpans at the camera* Today we are going to make a lovely Borgogianan special: Zaxflork. Now, we will start now with some lovely first class scrotch from a certain mountainside in the Borgogianan flatlands. Now, just to inform our viewers, Scrotch is very alchoholic, so I must warn everyone that just one cup will make you drunk. Of course, the Borgognianans do not like the taste of alchohol, so they disguise it in a boiling process in order to meld the flavours, and the alchohol wears off within minutes. Mr. Harrison, if you could pass me the scrotch -
Ringo: Excuse me, but what exactly IS scrotch?
Martha: It's a mixture of a carbonated caffiene beverage and scotch. Mightily addictive. It is the Borgognianan national drink.
Paul: Sounds like a Beatle drink to me!
Martha: All right, George, if you can - Mr. Harrison ...?
Paul*looking behind the counter*: George ...?
/////
CUT TO COMMERCIAL ....
-------
--------- PART ONE --------
Music begins to play, the theme song of Martha Stewart Living comes on, but it is played rather than aired over the set, which is Martha Stewart's Kitchen. Camera zooms into the Beatles, pans left to right, and as the Beatles stop playing. Martha Stewart comes onto the set. Blackout.
*Fade In. Medium close up of Martha.* Martha:Welcome to Martha Stewart Living. Today on my show, I will be cooking a lovely meal with four very special guests. Hello, lads. How are you today?
*Pan Left. Medium shot of George and Ringo.*
Ringo: Hello, Martha. Hows it all goin' for you?
Martha: Very well, thankyou, Mr. Starr. As I was saying, we have very special guests today. All the way from Liverpool, England, in the second half of our show; ladies and gentlemen, The Beatles!
Silence. A cabbage blows across the counter.
Martha: The BEATLES!
A random person shouts. Errrr! Sorry, Martha! A sort of wacky jazzy type tune floats through the air.
Martha: That's alright, Alfie. Next time a cabbage does that, I'll fire you. *clears throat and smiles* Well, here we have wonderful guests -
John: Called The Beatles called, eh? *Smiles cheesily and proceeds to inspect the kitchen knives*
Paul*hissing in John's ear*: Put ‘em down, you know you like knives too much!
An embarrassing silence. John slowly puts down the knife, but not before imitating Jack the Ripper .... Martha snatches it away from his hands and John growls at her under his breath.
Martha: ... Yes. We need the knife to chop the fruit, if you can start with the green apples, I would appreciate it. *Deadpans at the camera* Today we are going to make a lovely Borgogianan special: Zaxflork. Now, we will start now with some lovely first class scrotch from a certain mountainside in the Borgogianan flatlands. Now, just to inform our viewers, Scrotch is very alchoholic, so I must warn everyone that just one cup will make you drunk. Of course, the Borgognianans do not like the taste of alchohol, so they disguise it in a boiling process in order to meld the flavours, and the alchohol wears off within minutes. Mr. Harrison, if you could pass me the scrotch -
Ringo: Excuse me, but what exactly IS scrotch?
Martha: It's a mixture of a carbonated caffiene beverage and scotch. Mightily addictive. It is the Borgognianan national drink.
Paul: Sounds like a Beatle drink to me!
Martha: All right, George, if you can - Mr. Harrison ...?
Paul*looking behind the counter*: George ...?
/////
CUT TO COMMERCIAL ....
-------
